The Green party candidate from Norwich has failed to understand that Cambridge and London are different places, occupying different points in the space/time continum and not being the same, and also different, it was revealed today, in Cambridge, and not London.
Green Barnoness and high commander of London Moral certainty, Jenny Jones proclaimed that London and Cambridge were in fact, the same “Look, we’ve got this Jolly Nice thing in London called the ‘congestion charge’ – no idea what is is as my personal rickshaw driver handles everything for me – but I’m sure the lower middle classes will love it.” she said, sucking on a vegan organic piece of funghi.
“We’ve got lots of other things in London that you could have in your basically the same City”, she explained: “In London we have a big gerkin, and we all know vegetables are good for you, so maybe you should have one here as well.”.
Other highly realistic Green policies included introducing 50% affordable housing, banning all money things and asking Julian Huppert to stop bobbing to combat climate change.
Rupert Reed confirmed what everyone knew he was going to say “We are the only party, the ONLY party like an S Club Party, and we’re gunno get down tonight.
What, wait, no, that’s not it. Oh dear.”